2 YEARS ON THE WAGON: WHAT I’VE LEARNT FROM GOING SOBER

David Kay
Dec 23, 2024
4 min read

Updated: Aug 29

774 days ago, I stopped drinking alcohol. Here’s a brief, honest account of what I’ve learnt.

A few notes before we start:

I’m not an alcoholic. (Said the alcoholic, ha… ha… Seriously, though.)
I’m not telling you what to do – you’re old enough to make your own decisions. This is just what I’ve learnt, from my perspective, for anyone who’s interested.
None of this is medical advice (I hope that’s obvious). Seek professional help if you think you might have a problem.

Good. Let’s get under way. Bottom’s up!

Why I quit drinking

I love booze. That’s not the reason I quit, of course. But it’s an important part of the story.

I remember the first time I got drunk. It was at a mate’s house when I was fifteen. I drank ten bottles of Budweiser. I woke up the next day feeling fresh as a daisy. Give me ten bottles of Bud now and I’ll wake up as a dried-up house plant.

Nights out begin to take their toll as you get older. But we seldom lower the volume of alcohol we consume.

What was Einstein’s definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same results.

How many times have you said “I’ll take it easy tonight” or “I won’t drink as much as last weekend”?

Me too.

How many times did you stick to it?

Me neither.

Insanity.

Time for a change.

I’d tried the odd month of sobriety here and there without finding it too difficult. But I was always ready for a beer by the end of it.

I even did three months without alcohol at one point. This was far more difficult. In fact, I hated it. When I reached the end of the third month, I celebrated with a big, fat booze-up. Classic.

Typical.

Predictable.

Then one day, I had a particularly mad one. A proper blow-out. Think of the most you’ve ever drunk, times it by 2.5 and then expel some fluids onto your bedroom floor.

Horrible.

Enough is enough is enough.

The following Monday, I read a book called The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr. (No, not that Alan Carr.) The book was recommended by Nikki Glaser on the Joe Rogan Experience, and I thought it was worth a shot. Turned out to be a bit of a gem.

On the Wednesday, I poured myself a glass of Brewdog Elvis Juice as a ritualistic goodbye, and that was it.

I haven’t drunk since.

(Edit: I accidentally took a sip of my mate’s Birra Moretti during the England/Spain Euro final thinking it was my 0%. Corona. Alas, it didn’t wash away the taste of a 2-1 defeat.)

Is it hard to quit drinking?

That depends on who you ask. For me, it was hard for the first six months. Really hard. But once I was over that six-month-hump – and the first full year was in sight – I found it easy. Because I knew the feeling of pride at the twelve-month checkpoint would always outweigh my current temptation to drink.

When my Grandpa was quitting smoking, he used to say, “I’m not going to smoke today”.

If it helps to go one day at a time, do that. I did that for the first six months and then found I didn’t need to anymore.

So, yeah, it’s hard – for a bit. And then it’s not. At least, that’s what I found. Perhaps I’m in the minority, but the only real way to find out is to give it a go for yourself.

Will your mates think you’re boring if you go sober?

At the risk of sounding like your mother: If your mates aren’t supportive, they aren’t your real mates.

I was apprehensive about telling my mates I was going sober. I thought they might take the piss. And they did. But only for five minutes. Then they said they were proud of me and told me they thought it was a good idea.

So get yourself some good mates – it’ll make the whole thing a hell of a lot easier.

Should you quit drinking?

The big question.

Before you make any rash decisions, there are a few smaller questions you might want to ask yourself first.

Do you want to quit?

Sounds daft, but if you don’t want to quit, you’ve got no chance. You need a reason. If I could drink in moderation, I would. But I can’t, so I don’t.

Has someone suggested it to you?

Chances are, if someone has suggested you consider cutting down your alcohol intake, you might want to think about having some time off. Start with a month and see how it goes.

Has anyone ever pissed in your pants while you were drunk?

Spoiler alert: It was you.

What will your life look like if you quit drinking?

Ask yourself this one. It’s fun. A lot of people tell me they have a lot of respect for me for going sober. They say, “I wish I could do that”. I tell them they can. They pat me on the back and tell me I should be proud of myself. And I am. It feels good.

Plus, there’s a noticeable lack of hangovers – zero, to be precise. And that’s perhaps the sweetest thing of all.

What will your life look like if you don’t quit drinking?

This was a big one for me. There are only so many mistakes you can make at the hands of alcohol. Only so many people you can let down and disappoint. Where’s the cut-off point? How many times is one too many? You spend your life trying to fill it with people you love. For what – to piss it up the wall? No, thanks. I’ll take a cappuccino to go.